为什么你说话没人听?无非就是犯了这七个毛病!tinyhut(2019/7/22 11:49:33) 点击:
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125.* * * 说话着实是门技术活。
有些人说话让人听着总是那么舒服,而自己说话的时候,明明是激情澎湃、肺腑之言,朋友却经常对其置若罔闻。
这大概就是“会说话”和“不会说话”的区别了。
今天就一起来研究一下说话的艺术,如何赋予语言力量(how to speak powerfully)并且让声音真正成为我们人类独有的乐器。
说话的“七宗罪”
为什么你说话没人听?无非就是犯了这七个毛病!
英国声音专家Julian Treasure通过自己的生活经验,发现了在生活中我们常犯的、并且应该努力避免(move away from)的7个说话上的错误,这就是说话的七宗罪(seven deadly sins of speaking)。
❶ Gossip 流言蜚语
为什么你说话没人听?无非就是犯了这七个毛病!
Speaking ill of someone who is not present. It's not a nice habit but we know perfectly well, the person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us.
在背后说别人的坏话不是一个好习惯,但是我们十分确定,现在这个正在八卦的人5分钟之后就会将自己的八卦触角转移到我们身上。
speak ill of:说……的坏话
❷ Judging 评头论足
We know people who are like this in conversation and it's very hard to listen to somebody if you know you are being judged and found wanting at the same time.
我们在谈话中遇到过这类人,如果你知道自己此时此刻正在被审视、评价,并且还不被看好,就很难听进去这个人的话。
❸ & ❹ negativity and complaining 消极与抱怨
It's the national art of the UK. We complain about the weather, sport, about politics, about everything, but actually complaining is viral misery. It's not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world.
抱怨可是英国的国民艺术。我们抱怨一切,包括天气、运动、政治等等。但是抱怨真是一种病毒传染性的痛苦与自怜。它可不是在向世界传递阳光和光明。
viral:病毒性的
❺ Excuses借口
为什么你说话没人听?无非就是犯了这七个毛病!
We've all met this guy. Maybe we've all been this guy. Some people have a blamethrower. They just pass it to everybody else and don't take the responsibility for their actions, and again, hard to listen to someone who is being like that.
我们也遇到过这种人,或者我们自己就是这种人。有些人总是喜欢为自己找借口,他们永远把责任推到别人身上。当然,这种人的话人们也听不进去。
blamethrower: 指责他人的倾向
❻ Lying 撒谎与欺骗
For example, if I see something is really awesome, what do I call it? And then, the exaggeration becomes lying to us.
当我们看到一件特别令人惊艳的事物时,我们该如何形容呢?也许,后来过度的夸张就成为了谎言。
exaggeration:夸张
❼ Dogmatism 固执己见
为什么你说话没人听?无非就是犯了这七个毛病!
The confusion of facts with opinions. When those two things get conflated, you are listening to the wind. You know somebody is bombarding you with their opinions as if they were true. It's difficult to listen to that.
固执己见的人混淆了事实与想法的界线。当两者混到一起的时候,这样的话就像耳边风,对于事实知之甚少。当有些人想用自己的想法强加于你时,其实你很难听进去。
conflate: 结合,合并
bombard sb with sth:向…大量提供信息
上面说的这些说话的7个坏习惯,你中招了没?如果中招的话,需要改善了噢。
说话的艺术
Julian之后又阐述了4个打造powerful speaking的基础(cornerstone),他将其称为HAIL原则,当然啦,这里不是冰雹的意思,而是四个单词首字母的组合。
为什么你说话没人听?无非就是犯了这七个毛病!
Being honest means being clear and straightforward.
诚实意味着直率、清楚地表达出你的想法。
Authenticity means standing in your own truth.
真实是指不掩饰地表明自己。
Integrity refers to acting what you say.
正直是指说到做到,信守诺言。
Love means wishing people well.
而爱则是指每一句话都是出于为了对方着想的考虑出发的。
诚实与爱的关系非常有趣。Julian说:
“Tempered with love, honesty can be a great thing.”
掺入着爱的诚实是非常棒的事。
声音品质的提升
最后,Julian向大家奉献了一个工具箱(A toolbox),可以通过一下几个方面提声音的品质。
为什么你说话没人听?无非就是犯了这七个毛病!
Register: a deeper voice from the chest speaks with more power and authority.
音域:从胸腔发出的更加深沉的声音显得更有力量,更具权威感;
Timbre: how the voices feels or sounds — distinct from tone or loudness.
音色:声音的质感,不同于语气和音量大小;
Prosody: the sing-song or up and down of the movement.
韵律:说话时如歌唱般,音调上下起伏;
Pace: a rapid pace, then slowing down for emphasis. Or just pausing occasionally can be powerful.
语速:语速要偏快,但在重点的地方放慢速度或偶尔的停顿会使语言具有力量;
Pitch: a higher pitch can make you sound more excited.
音调:更高的音调会让你听起来更有激情;
Volume: quiet to make people pay attention, louder can also show excitement.
音量:小的音量让人们专心,大的音量则可彰显激情。正如Julian Treasure所说:
No engine works well without being warmed up.
没经过预热的发动机无法好好工作。
而我们的话语也是如此,没有经过预热、训练和力量的声音也难以传达出预期的效果。
最后,Julian提出了自己关于说话者,听话者与环境之间的美好构想。
他希望可以通过说话人有意识地避开不良的说话习惯,赋予语言力量;听话人有意识地倾听以及促进交谈的环境的建构,创造一个美丽的沟通世界。在那里,理解将会是常态(Understanding will be the norm)。
为什么你说话没人听?无非就是犯了这七个毛病!
希望你可以有所收获,掌握说话的技巧。俗语说:
良药苦口利于病,忠言逆耳利于行。
It takes bitter medicine to cure a disease properly; it takes blunt advice to put us on the right track.
但是谁说忠言就一定逆耳呢,避开7个错误,整理好4种情感,培养自己的声音品质,就一定会使自己的声音充满力量却又不失温暖。