IP:125.* * *
1. There's no commute so you literally just roll out of bed 10 minutes before your shift starts. But then you feel like a shitty person all day because you didn't shower/try/change out of your PJs.
2. Your roommate/boyfriend resents you because you never leave. Sometimes you're in the exact couch-desk position when he leaves for work as you are when he comes home from work. You try to convince him you moved to go to the bathroom but he doesn't totally believe you. *Uses foot to slyly push bedpan under table. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Shhh.*
3. There's no "High School Musical we're all in this together" vibe. If you have to work late ... it's just you stuck at home.
4. Since you're rarely in the office, your wardrobe standards are all fucked up. You go between thinking shitty ripped jeans, Converse, and a sweatshirt are appropriate or you overshoot it and end up wearing something really formal into the office because LOLZ you have no idea.
5. You can't wander around for 10 minutes on your lunch break deciding where you want to eat. Just the long lonely walk to the fridge.
6. Finishing the work day feels anticlimactic AF. It's just you deciding to close your laptop like, "WELP guess that's that!"
7. Not leaving your house for days. My record is two, OK, it's three, FINE, IT'S ACTUALLY FOUR. Your turn.
8. After work happy hours, LOL. Your friends with office jobs can easily roll into the bar on the corner for a few cocktails to de-stress, but you have to leave the comfiness of your custom ass-imprint on the couch, get dressed (What are clothes?!), and get to wherever the hell they're meeting in bumblefuck downtown. It's impossible. Plus, sunlight burns your eyes now.
9. You miss seeing your friends with jobs. You try to convince them to come over to your place for some nice pinot grigio and Netflix but they're like, "Hard pass, weirdo; leave your house sometimes, OK?"
10. People don't take your job as seriously. Just because you don't carry a briefcase and have 15 meetings a day about nothing doesn't mean your job is any less serious. You have most of the classic trappings of a job — you know, you have to work — without the actual office part.
11. Your mom doesn't believe you have a job, period. She'll call you all day long because you're at home and have 10 hours to talk about the last episode of Passions.
12. You order delivery way too often. Multiple delivery guys know your entire wardrobe (of pajamas) and you spent more money on Thai food last month than you spent on rent. It was worth it. Thai food is delicious.
13. You often work way more hours than if you went into an office. Because there's no janitor to turn off the lights and vacuum under your feet, you have no concept of when a day begins and ends.
14. You get really lazy. Your inner slob is awoken and moving becomes a chore. You'll wait for your boyfriend to get home and be all, "Babe, can you hand me that toast?" and he'll know you got out the bread at 8 a.m., put it in the toaster, sat down, and then didn't move all day. You are properly shamed.
15. Your dog always barks during important Google Hangouts. Like, he'll sleeping all damn day until you're talking to the the one client you must look professional for, and then he spots a ghost child in a corner and goes apeshit.
15. 你家狗总是要在你用Google Hangouts视频群聊和你抢耳麦。当你必须认真对待你的客户，然而白日它没声没息只顾睡觉，偏偏这时候冒出来捣乱。
16. You try to do all the things the "experts" recommend, but it's often a load of B.S. You've tried making an office "sacred space," you tried changing into Real Clothes, you've tried not taking phone calls on the toilet. It all lasts about a week before you realize these so-called professionals have never worked from home.